If there’s one thing that the pandemic and underlying health issues have taught me, it’s that I miss the outside world. Going out, exploring the wonders of nature or taking some time to venture round man-made structures — it’s something all of us have been unable to do for much of this year.

In a year that has been made up of suffering and lockdowns, it’s very hard to look back and see any positives. The world is in a strange place right now and I can only hope that the future holds positives we can look forward to. The year of human malware has taken its toll on everybody and my thoughts and good wishes are with those who have been affected by the virus, and those who are on the front line fighting to stop it. There has also been much back and forth on the topic of Brexit, which has rapidly become a term I am fed up of hearing. However, as the final hours of 2020 tick by, there are a few glimmers of hope on the horizon: a vaccine for COVID-19, a deal for moving the UK’s relationship with Europe forward as well as a new President for one of the most powerful countries in the world.

But the world is a big place, and there’s very little I can do to change it on my own. Since this is a personal journal, it’s probably easier to look back at what made up the last 366 days where I am. As usual, I want to thank my friends and family for putting up with me being there for me this year. I know that this time last year I felt like I had so much to look forward to but 2020 ended up being the eternal month of March. I haven’t been as open about things as I could have and I’ve not achieved as much as I could. I’ve kept myself to myself this year, not wanting to be a burden on anyone by sharing very much as I know we’ve all been hit hard by events which I haven’t wanted to add to. Things won’t magicaly stop at 23:59 tonight just because a number has changed so I’m not holding out much hope for the first part of 2021 either.

I have spent this year dealing with health problems that have arisen from the operation I mentioned in last year’s retrospective, which includes a fairly unsuccessful repeat operation back in September. I was told yesterday that I will need further, more serious operations in the new year as the infection is either returning or spreading. It’s weird realising that I’ve been dealing with this for well over a year now, and it has taken its toll on me as a person far more than the human malware lockdowns or ever tightening work deadlines: needing to visit the doctor three times a week for several months has had the side effect of leaving me a bit numb to things happening around me.

On a more positive note, I spent the majority of the first few months of the year (i.e. pre-lockdown, if anyone remembers those days) gathering together materials and evidence to advance my career and, as of November, have been promoted to senior grade in my organisation. One could say that it took me too long to get here as I have effectively been working at a senior level for the past few years, but it is definitely a notable milestone and a big personal achievement.

So what happens now? Usually I’ll end a post like this with a short paragraph on what I’ve learnt and how to move forward, but considering I haven't really left my house this year apart from going to doctors, I don’t feel that I have learnt anything. I haven’t achieved any of my resolutions for this year and I’ve been unable to do things I’ve wanted to do like travel.

But that’s not the full truth, is it? I know that there are times when it just feels like nothing is going your way and the world is just dull and grey — but just because the world around you is falling apart, it doesn’t mean you have to give up too. When I look back at this year, there are definitely some things I can be happy about. I’ve made some new friends who have shared their lives with me through the internet. I’ve kept in touch with old friends and the people who make my days better. I got a promotion, rebuilt my computer and still managed to do things that have meant a lot to me. There is always an opportunity to be better next year.

2020 was a hurdle. There may be more to come, but that doesn't mean I, or anyone else, should stop moving.

Usually at this time of the year, I look back at things that have happened over the last twelve months and reflect on what's happened and what can be learnt. With everything that's happened this year, I thought I'd do a little extra post for Christmas.

Firstly, I want to thank my friends, family and colleagues for all their support over the year. I wouldn't be where I am without you all. It sure has been a heck of a year and the world's problems won't suddenly disappear when the clock strikes midnight on December 31st — but with you around, I feel there's hope.

I hope you all can spend some time for yourself and with your families. Merry Christmas!

The year is drawing to a close. People are tidying away their Christmas decorations and slowly remembering they have to return to work. This year is a special one as it also marks the end of the decade as well.

A lot has happened over this last year, and even more so this last decade. As I lay here in bed, recovering from a recent operation, I’ve had plenty of time to think back on the past, as well as look to the future. At the beginning of this decade, I was still at university worrying about how well I was doing… now I’m at work worrying about pretty much the same thing 😆 . This past decade I completed my university degree, became a professional software developer and expanded my skillset into user experience design. I’ve finally managed to learn to drive — several years too late, much to the amusement of my friends — and climbed onto the property ladder. It’s been a wild ride and despite it being hard at times, it’s one that’s worth being on.

Truthfully though, I don’t think I’ve felt happier about life as I do now. This year has been one where I’ve really been able to make myself a better person than I have been, with the support of my friends and family. 2017 and 2018 were quite rough for me, both emotionally and mentally; 2019 has been the first year I’ve felt I’ve actually been able to change things for the better — even if the changes are quite small. I’m extremely lucky to have my friends, most of which have gone above and beyond to provide support and just be there when I’ve needed them (you know who you are; I cannot thank you all enough). There’s some things I’d have never have done if it weren’t for all these people cheering me on, and I honestly wouldn’t be here (both literally and metaphorically) if it weren’t for them.

Despite reducing my online presence in 2018, I’ve managed to build a small, close-knit community around some of the things I’ve done this last year. Silly office projects, 3D printed gadgets, artworks containing in-jokes or epic scale projects in games: to an outsider, these may seem ridiculous, but these are some of the things that I’ve looked forward to sharing with these groups — either to make people laugh, or to encourage collaboration and ideas. I don’t think I’ll ever quite realise that these little things mean this much to more than just myself so I just want to thank everyone involved for being so awesome, open and understanding.

I’ve got plenty more things I want to do coming up, and the start of the new decade is definitely looking a promising place to start off. Here’s to 2020!

A quick recap

As I mentioned above, I’ve had some health issues that culminated with an operation just before Christmas. I am currently recovering from that, but will be out of action for at least a few months.

The day of my operation marked a year’s anniversary for me getting the keys to my new place. Most of the year has been spent making the place more homely or creating a garden that I can be proud of. I’ve been able to grow my own vegetables this year, and August brought with it an excess of tomatoes that I had to donate to others!

2019’s resolutions

One of my goals over the last few years has been trying to reduce my impact on the environment. I know that talking about this is comparable to a tiny drop in an ocean, but it’s a start and even the smallest things help.

At the end of 2017 I purchased a 3D printer. 2018 was very much the year of repairing things with stuff I printed and I continued to build upon that in 2019 by actually creating my own things instead of going out and buying new items. Scattered around my house are small things that I’ve made to solve problems; examples include soap dishes, pen holders and storage containers. The printer uses plant-based PLA which I’m trying to source from responsible sources.

I’ve also worked exceedingly hard to reduce waste in 2019, and have got to the state where I don’t need to empty the non-recyclable waste bin every collection day. Since I’m in the IT sector, I’ve also helped reduce the amount of electronic waste in the world by prioritising purchases of second-hand technologies when needed. I can confidently say that all but one of my technological purchases this year were preowned.

Progression at work has gone better this year as I finally was given the green light to go for a hybrid User Experience and Front End Developer role. It’s been a significant challenge, but there are clearly positive results coming out of it — both for myself and the company I work for. Moving into 2020 I will continue furthering my career with this in mind.

I am rapidly becoming the HTML and CSS “go to” person in my project, which is both a blessing and a curse. The added visibility is great, however there are several people on the team who would much rather give their work to me and then claim the credit for it after.

My other resolutions didn’t fare as well: the annual statement of “I’ll lose weight” will continue into next year, and the plan to cycle most days to work have been scuppered somewhat by health issues and general lack of motivation.